


Anniversary

by BlueNerdBird



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: (for now) - Freeform, Gen, Just Friends, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-14 16:53:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9194294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueNerdBird/pseuds/BlueNerdBird
Summary: This day in particular is difficult for Laslow, but Xander just wants to help him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Even though I write a lot of xanlas stuff this ended up being more friendship? Which if you want to read it either way is fine, this was mostly a way for me to get back into the writing.

Xander first noticed it when Laslow brought him breakfast. As Laslow poured the tea, his hand was visibly shaking. He wanted to ask what was wrong, because any hint of Laslow’s usual smile was gone as well, but just as soon as he mentioned it, Laslow covered it with a smile.

“No worries Milord, I’m doing just fine,” Laslow replied. Xander did not press further.

He would have thought nothing of it, until he met with Laslow to spar before lunch. They had grown accustomed to each other’s fighting style by now, and they usually fell into a certain pattern. It was familiar to Xander, and if he was quite frank, it was relaxing to be around his retainer in such an informal setting for once. If they were going to talk about anything aside from politics, that was where it would happen.

For the second time that day, Xander knew something was off. Laslow’s usually quick and light footwork was slow and clumsy, during a close parry, Xander saw dark circles under Laslow’s eyes as well.

“Let’s rest for a moment,” Xander said, setting his sword aside and wiping his brow with a cloth.

“Is there something the matter Milord?” Laslow asked.

“No, nothing’s wrong. Did you sleep well last night Laslow?” Xander asked, trying to be nonchalant about it, but Laslow’s posture went rigid, and Xander could tell he was about to lie.

“Yes, like a babe. Come on, let’s resume sparring,” Laslow said, ready to pick up where they left off. Xander dismissed him with a wave of his hand.

“I am not in the mood, if I’m honest Laslow, your skills are equal with mine, and we spar multiple times a week, we can afford to take a break this once,” Xander said, setting the practice sword and armor back onto its stand. Laslow nodded and did the same.

They made idle chatter as they made their way back inside, where Xander knew that he had a pile of documents he had to go over. Laslow understood and went to fetch lunch, but Xander stopped him.

“Laslow, I can tell you are not well. Take the afternoon off, get some rest. I will have Peri take over today.”

“But Milord,”

“Those are my orders Laslow,” Xander cursed himself when Laslow nodded solemnly, a dejected look on his face. He sighed and put a hand on Laslow’s shoulder.

“Laslow, I say this as your friend, not your prince. It is, unusual to grow as close to your retainers as I have, but you are not yourself this morning. If there is anything you need to talk about, do not hesitate,” Xander explained, quickly realizing he was much closer to Laslow than he was before. Laslow stared up at him with wide eyes, and he could almost see the words he wanted to say, but for some reason remained hidden.

“Milord… Xander... All I will say is that today marks a terrible event that occurred in my past. It is a harsh reminder, but one I must live with. I will tell you more later, I promise you.” Laslow looked up at him with the first genuine smile of that day. Xander returned his smile.

“Thank you Laslow, I will let you get some rest,” Xander said, and left to his quarters.

He missed Laslow greatly that day, but Peri’s company was always appreciated, and when he had trouble thinking of how to phrase certain letters to diplomats, she was surprisingly helpful, if her ideas were somewhat violently worded.

The next time he ran into Laslow was on his way to dinner that evening, when he saw his retainer chatting quietly with Selena and Odin. He nearly went to say something to Laslow, but saw him put his head in his hands as Odin wrapped an arm around his shoulders and Selena put her hand on his shoulder comfortingly.

Xander had known for a while that those three were connected in some way, but he had never realized how close they were with each other until now. He tried to walk the other way and let the other two console him, but he caught Selena’s eye a second too late. She simply scowled at him before saying something to Odin and Laslow.

With a nod to each other and a few words to their friend, Odin and Selena let Xander approach as they both left.

“Milord, I’m so sorry you have to see me like this,” Laslow said, his voice wobbly.

“Think nothing of it Laslow, I am worried about you is all. I cannot remember a time when I’ve seen you this upset,” Xander replied.

“The reason I’ve been out of sorts today…” Laslow seemed to pause and gather his thoughts for a moment, “is because today is the anniversary of my mother’s death.”

Xander felt his heart drop. He could count the amount of times Laslow had told him of his life before being a retainer on one hand, including their conversation now. Looking at someone like Laslow, who was one of the brightest and most optimistic people he knew, he never could have guessed that his mother had passed away.

“I’m sorry to hear that Laslow.” He truly was sorry, and he felt terrible that there was no way for him to help ease the pain.

“It’s a tricky thing, watching your mother die in front of you. She died to protect me, before she could even teach me all of her dance. I only ever learned half of it,” Laslow explained, and pieces clicked together in Xander’s head, that explained why Laslow’s dance was so unique, and how behind each move was such emotion that it moved Xander greatly every time he saw it.

For a moment Laslow looked like he wanted to say more, but shut his mouth.

Xander knew loss, as he had lost his own mother, but the two hadn’t been as close and he’d been very young.

“After that happened, it was just my sister and I left. It’s hard… being in a war with your parents dead, your friends facing the same loss, and then being the only ones to survive it,” at this, Laslow’s eyes darkened, “no one else made it, we were the only ones. Now it’s down to the three of us, which is why I’m always with Odin and Selena.” Laslow went quiet after that, leaning against the wall of the castle with his head down.

Xander had remained silent as he took in this new information. Without really thinking about it, he reached out and took Laslow’s hand in his. Laslow raised his head to question, but Xander kept silent. He didn’t know what words he could offer to comfort his friend, as the losses he described were beyond anything Xander knew.

So instead, he did the one thing he did know. Pulling on Laslow’s hand, he pulled him into an embrace. At first, he felt Laslow stiffen, but Xander just held on, and eventually he felt the tension fall from Laslow’s shoulders.

It was comfortable in his embrace, and Xander had never felt anything like it. Holding Laslow in his arms made him feel like he could shield Laslow from the ghosts of his past, haunting him to this day. He could not pretend to know everything about his retainer, but holding him in his arms, he didn’t feel a need to.

If Laslow wanted him to know more, then in time, he would tell him. All Xander could think of in that moment, was how good it felt to hold Laslow in his arms. A tiny voice in the back of his mind didn’t ever want to let him go, but he chose to ignore the thought for now.

Regardless of any growing feelings, right now Laslow needed a friend, and that was what Xander was going to be.

**Author's Note:**

> ignore all my earlier fics: my new tumblr is aceofthearts


End file.
